pursuit or desperation?

I appreciate The Norwegian more and more as I get further into the mess that is online dating.

He’s always been very respectful of boundaries, texting me at appropriate intervals, and never blowing my phone up with messages. I haven’t seen him in several weeks, but I’ll occasionally get a snapchat from him showing me what he’s doing and I’ll reciprocate at times, if I think he might appreciate it. Otherwise, we’ve pretty much gone about our own businesses. His last text to me said: Have a good night. Let me know if you want to meet later. 

I’m glad he hasn’t hounded, or sent me anything weird or inappropriate, or overshared information when it’s completely unnecessary. I cannot say the same for the others. I really have no idea what guys are thinking, but if you send any girl 3-4 text messages and she doesn’t get back to you–that means she’s not interested. I’d say it’s pretty clear that if you ask a question and she doesn’t get back to you, it’s game over. Continue reading

what really counts

Nothing really counts until you’ve met the guy.

It doesn’t matter how good the messaging back and forth is until you’ve interacted one-on-one face-to-face. I’ve had great conversations with guys and wasted enough time to know how important it is to actually talk in person. I’d mentioned before how one guy had called me out on my superficiality in terms of dating, which I fully admit that I care a lot how a guy looks.

One of the most unpleasant parts of online dating is when the guy looks worse than his picture. In most cases, the guys have older photos where they look younger than they are or they are much thinner than they currently are. The term for this is “catfish.” I hate it when I’m tricked by carefully culled photos that make the guys look much better than reality. Continue reading

why do guys do that?

Guys bewilder me on a frequent basis. They shock me even more online than in real life. It’s kind of astonishing at times, what guys think they can do behind the safety of a computer screen.

I get a fair share of vulgar messages, and I know I’m not alone. Two were very memorable in such an awful way. I’d actually been on a date with one guy a few years ago, but found him too mundane for a second date.

Fast forward to the near present, he messaged, saying: Hello, didn’t we go on a date in the past? Continue reading