I am 33, and I’m single again.
All my closest friends, with the exception of Miss M (who is heroically working on her diss), are happily married. Mrs. H (formerly Miss H) just had her first daughter, Baby S; Mrs. J is expecting her first child; and Mrs. C (not “that” C) is the mother of her “nearly 2” son, Baby A.
Until recently, I was in a long-term relationship with Orchestra Teacher. We met in Houston during my residency, moved to Austin for my fellowship, then moved again to Chicago for my first real job as an attending. We were together for over 3 years when one day, right after the holidays, he decided he was done. The kicker was we were living together and we were talking fairly seriously about getting engaged over the last several months.
It started with him saying, hey come here we need to talk. Basically, he decided he didn’t know if he ever wanted to get married and that he didn’t want to be have to account for someone else in his life. I told him flat out, sounds like you don’t want to be in a relationship. He confirmed that he wanted to be alone. He’d been thinking about this on/off for months, and didn’t bring up even a hint of what was going on in his mind until he couldn’t stand it any longer.
There’s a special covenant between a girl and her girlfriends.
I am certain my girlfriends tell their S.O.’s (significant others) about the on dits. I don’t really care if they do, as I trust them and their judgment. But there’s a line you don’t cross and once crossed there’s no going back.
I’ve already mentioned C in an earlier post. She hurt me deeply once upon a time and I was never able to fully trust her in the not quite happily ever after. I feared at some point, and she did prove me right, that she would do it again. The worst part was she did it to all of us. Continue reading
It really is a small world out there.
While out with one of my Korean guy friends, I ran into another Korean guy I used to date who I’ll refer to as Speed Crazy. He’s what the girls call my “bad boy phase.” I should have realized early on that he wasn’t good for me, but I was younger then and more foolish. What ended up happening was complete disaster. Continue reading
You should never make assumptions about anything.
Some of my worst dating experiences have been with friends of friends. I’ve broken my rules on multiple times in those situations and every single time I tell myself I won’t do it again, but I do. Because you know what? Hope springs eternal (as said by Alexander Pope) it’s what keeps us going, the possibility that it’ll be different and better the next time around. Continue reading
Easier said than done, right?
Yeah, I know everyone tells you to be happy. Who wants anyone to be sad? And it’s nice knowing that someone cares, but the hardest thing is realizing that no one can really make you happy. Sure someone can make you happier while they’re there. What happens then when they’re not around? Continue reading
Good friends are worth their weight in gold.
Until college, I never had real girlfriends. Then I met the girls: Mrs. C, Miss H, and Mrs. J. Who knew that these girls, who I met during my freshman year, would be my closest friends a decade later? I suppose, as they say, the rest is history…
Except, sometimes it’s not. I have never mentioned C before because the memory of our broken friendship was still too fresh to be able to comfortably process everything. I met C when I met the girls. Together we formed a close, cohesive group for the most part. But C has had past issues with every girl with the exception of her Maid of Honor, Mrs. J. Continue reading
I appreciate The Norwegian more and more as I get further into the mess that is online dating.
He’s always been very respectful of boundaries, texting me at appropriate intervals, and never blowing my phone up with messages. I haven’t seen him in several weeks, but I’ll occasionally get a snapchat from him showing me what he’s doing and I’ll reciprocate at times, if I think he might appreciate it. Otherwise, we’ve pretty much gone about our own businesses. His last text to me said: Have a good night. Let me know if you want to meet later.
I’m glad he hasn’t hounded, or sent me anything weird or inappropriate, or overshared information when it’s completely unnecessary. I cannot say the same for the others. I really have no idea what guys are thinking, but if you send any girl 3-4 text messages and she doesn’t get back to you–that means she’s not interested. I’d say it’s pretty clear that if you ask a question and she doesn’t get back to you, it’s game over. Continue reading