passage of time

I am 33, and I’m single again.

All my closest friends, with the exception of Miss M (who is heroically working on her diss), are happily married. Mrs. H (formerly Miss H) just had her first daughter, Baby SMrs. J is expecting her first child; and Mrs. C (not “that” C) is the mother of  her “nearly 2” son, Baby A. 

Until recently, I was in a long-term relationship with Orchestra Teacher. We met in Houston during my residency, moved to Austin for my fellowship, then moved again to Chicago for my first real job as an attending. We were together for over 3 years when one day, right after the holidays, he decided he was done. The kicker was we were living together and we were talking fairly seriously about getting engaged over the last several months.

It started with him saying, hey come here we need to talk. Basically, he decided he didn’t know if he ever wanted to get married and that he didn’t want to be have to account for someone else in his life. I told him flat out, sounds like you don’t want to be in a relationship. He confirmed that he wanted to be alone. He’d been thinking about this on/off for months, and didn’t bring up even a hint of what was going on in his mind until he couldn’t stand it any longer.

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girl to girl

There’s a special covenant between a girl and her girlfriends.

I am certain my girlfriends tell their S.O.’s (significant others) about the on dits. I don’t really care if they do, as I trust them and their judgment. But there’s a line you don’t cross and once crossed there’s no going back.

I’ve already mentioned C in an earlier post. She hurt me deeply once upon a time and I was never able to fully trust her in the not quite happily ever after. I feared at some point, and she did prove me right, that she would do it again. The worst part was she did it to all of us. Continue reading

through thick and thin

Good friends are worth their weight in gold.

Until college, I never had real girlfriends. Then I met the girls: Mrs. C, Miss H, and Mrs. J. Who knew that these girls, who I met during my freshman year, would be my closest friends a decade later? I suppose, as they say, the rest is history…

Except, sometimes it’s not. I have never mentioned C before because the memory of our broken friendship was still too fresh to be able to comfortably process everything. I met C when I met the girls. Together we formed a close, cohesive group for the most part. But C has had past issues with every girl with the exception of her Maid of Honor, Mrs. J. Continue reading