not the right beat

I never met his friends; he never met mine.

I dated EDM Guy on/off for about 3 months. Initially, I was interested in him because of his stats. He was educated, stable career, and Asian. Pretty much a guy I could probably bring home, if it worked. But after I met him, I knew that my mom wouldn’t like him because of his tattoos (on his chest, visible under his collarbone) and piercings (on his lips). Still he was engaging enough and certainly different in an interesting way for me to keep seeing him.

I was never really sure where I stood with him. I believe he’d probably say the same about me. We talked about a lot of things, but never really discussed us. I was fine with this because I was uncertain if I wanted to progress to the next step, exclusivity.

I don’t really know if he was seeing another girl (I never asked). He mentioned some girls he hung out with by name, though I suspect they were just friends. He was a pretty nice guy and I couldn’t really see him saying the names to provoke a reaction out of me. I admit it did ruffle me a little, but not enough to ever bring it up or even insinuate. I liked spending time with him; I liked him as a person, a friend; but I didn’t like him enough to only date him.

A few times, he’d bring up issues with me about how I never initiated or how when we were communicating via text I’d suddenly drop off. These were kind of nagging complaints a boyfriend would make to their girlfriend, or truthfully, what a girlfriend would say to their boyfriend. I teased him about being a girl (and I did have a bad habit of trying to get under his skin because he said nothing really bothered him), but it did bother him.

The issue was: I wasn’t his girlfriend and he wasn’t my boyfriend.

Maybe he wanted to be at one point (or not) and maybe a little part of me might have been able to be persuaded (but probably not). But I don’t think we liked each other enough to really push it. And so, it ended.

I have nothing negative to say about him. He was a genuinely nice guy, but he wasn’t a good fit for me. I recognized it fairly early and it was kind of bad of me to keep seeing him when I knew he wasn’t what I wanted. But I did enjoy his company. He was fun and easy to be with. I’ll admit, I miss him a little.

Hey EDM Guy, I wish you the best.


trust your instincts

Online dating is pretty exhausting.

I tend to go through “rounds” of dates within a 2-3 week period before I decide on who I’m interested in getting to know better. This last time, I actually dated a few guys sporadically over the last 3 or so months. I usually use either Tinder or OKC to find potential dates. This round I culled 2 from Tinder, 0 from OKC, and 2 surprisingly from friends. Continue reading

feeling butterflies

I think at some point, you know when you really like someone (and definitely when you don’t).

A few of my friends (okay, a lot of them) have asked why I haven’t been blogging. I haven’t really been dating anyone interesting, but when I think about it I think it’s because I just didn’t care all that much. I’ve dated a handful of guys in the last few months: EDM Guy, Off-Shore GuySurgery Boy, and Friend of Friend. I liked them all, but not enough to consider dating any of them seriously. Continue reading

girl to girl

There’s a special covenant between a girl and her girlfriends.

I am certain my girlfriends tell their S.O.’s (significant others) about the on dits. I don’t really care if they do, as I trust them and their judgment. But there’s a line you don’t cross and once crossed there’s no going back.

I’ve already mentioned C in an earlier post. She hurt me deeply once upon a time and I was never able to fully trust her in the not quite happily ever after. I feared at some point, and she did prove me right, that she would do it again. The worst part was she did it to all of us. Continue reading

the biggest mistake

It really is a small world out there.

While out with one of my Korean guy friends, I ran into another Korean guy I used to date who I’ll refer to as Speed Crazy. He’s what the girls call my “bad boy phase.” I should have realized early on that he wasn’t good for me, but I was younger then and more foolish. What ended up happening was complete disaster. Continue reading

friends of friends

You should never make assumptions about anything.

Some of my worst dating experiences have been with friends of friends. I’ve broken my rules on multiple times in those situations and every single time I tell myself I won’t do it again, but I do. Because you know what? Hope springs eternal (as said by Alexander Pope) it’s what keeps us going, the possibility that it’ll be different and better the next time around. Continue reading


perfectly addicting drama

“Is disappearing without a heads up difficult to bear? Of course, it is. But it also makes me love him more. Because every moment that we’re together could be our last. And that makes every moment precious.” – Cheon Song Yi

You know you’re obsessed with a K drama when you try to figure out the exact lip color the main actress is wearing (see my attempts below) because you love the character and want to channel her, even if only through her makeup. Jun Ji Hyun as Cheon Song Yi in My Love From Another Star (aka You From Another Star) is amazing. You’ll recognize her as The Girl in My Sassy Girl, her break-out role in a movie that’s still high on my list of must watch rom-com’s. For this drama, Jun Ji Hyun is literally herself as a star actress, who just happens to fall in love with a 400+ year old alien living next door.

(From Top, Right to Left) Revlon in Lollipop + Tarte in Flashy, Revlon in Tutti Frutti, Tarte in Perky + Lancome in Love It, Revlon in Wild + Tarte in Swank

Continue reading