when love comes around

When I feel like love will never come around, I take to heart all the happy couples I know around me. A good number of my friends, like Mrs. C and Mrs. J, are married and I realize that with patience, my time will come. In the meantime, I’ll be honest–waiting is no piece of cake.

But I’m happy to announce I do have a new special man in my life, Baby J. My Cousin JT and her husband, Cousin DT are the parents of this adorable boy! Baby J was born as an early birthday to his mom, and it’s been wonderful having him as an addition to the family. I can’t wait to meet him, unfortunately, that’ll have to wait a bit as they live in DC.

Cousin JT and I are like sisters. We were born in the same year and are only 8 months apart in age. When we were really young, we grew up together, but she moved away before we hit elementary school and we ended up being penpals for years. I still have all her letters carefully stored away as a keepsake.

I remember being on the phone with Cousin JT after the breakdown of her first serious relationship. She cried her heart out as I tried to tell her it was going to be okay. I knew she didn’t believe me at the time, and looking back I should have just been there for her. But I already knew from personal experience that it does get better with time. I told her that she was going to find The Right One for her because That Asshole didn’t deserve her. What rubbed salt further into the wound was that he cheated on her with one her friends, so the cheating went both ways. It was an awful time for her and I wish I knew what I knew now.

Fast forward a few years, Cousin JT meets Cousin DT after going back to school through mutual friends. They started spending time together as friends before he asked her out on a date. They took it gradually and I remember Cousin JT telling me some of the details along the way and I thought even then that he seemed like a good guy.

I finally met Cousin DT when I went up to NYC for an away rotation at NYU. I lived together with them in their tiny railroad-style 5 floor walk-up apartment on the Upper East Side. I took up the space of a futon as I put my carry-on suitcase underneath what became my living and resting area for the next month. Cousin DT never really talked much to me, but I could tell from how he treated her that he was The Right One.

Two years later, they got married and I was her Maid of Honor. The rest is history, I suppose, but as time has moved along I think he’s proven more and more to me and the rest of the family and especially to her… that he’s the man for her. Cousin JT and I don’t talk much about her relationship with Cousin DT; I still only vaguely know him as a person; what I do know is how happy she’s been with him, and that’s icing on the cake.

So when I cry as I occasionally do about boys and feel that I’m never going to find Mr. Right, I think about how at least I’ve known love with Mr. Big and Mr. Surgeon (my ex-boyfriend from med school, we’ll get to him at some point) because the sentiment ’tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all (by Alfred Lord Tennyson) is absolutely true.

One day, I know, my true love will come to me.


4 thoughts on “when love comes around

  1. Oh don’t mind me, just nodding along to everything you’re saying because it’s so real. I didn’t care as much about marriage until I tried online dating. Everyone else’s successful relationships seemed magnified once I did though. I don’t know how old you are, but there’s something about being in your mid-twenties and watching your friends start their happy lives with a husband and kids/house/pet plans.

    I apologize in advance for spilling my feelings on here! Haha. Ok. I’ll let myself out.



    • You’re still very young! Don’t feel pressured. I probably feel less pressured as I get older. I’m okay being single, if it comes down to being by myself or settling. I feel like I’d be happier that way than being miserable with someone else!

      I’m almost 30, so my friends are really started along on their journey with the rest of their lives… and earlier in my mid-to-late 20s I did panic, but I’ve settled down. I feel like you can make the best of any situation you find yourself in.

      I may not be finding Mr. Right right now, but I am learning along the way with what I want and what I do not want! And that’s a very valuable lesson!


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